He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
