First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
