i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
