I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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