never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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