I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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