come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
