Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I have post one night stand depression
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
