I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We need a shit load of segways right now
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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