she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
