Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
