I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
