Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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