His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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