I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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