why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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