Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
