After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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