Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i love accidental penises.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
