Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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