so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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