Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
