Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
