I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
