Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
