Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
