Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
