There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
