i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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