I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
honey bunches of taint.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
third nipple confirmed
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
