you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
