my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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