this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
