It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
