You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
