Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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