At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
