The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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