Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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