if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
