lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We were destined to go to rehab together
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
