I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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