why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
