The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
