thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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