I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
