So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
