we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
sarcasm needs its own font
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
