im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
