I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
