It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
