I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
