R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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