You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize