butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
