Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
