i need an iv and a liver transplant
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize