who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
