Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
