Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
