me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
