did you get engaged???
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just had sex bonerless
Acid is not a monday night drug
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
