But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Randomize
