My friends, they love my intelligence
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
